Summary of Chris Voss & Tahl Raz's Never Split the Difference is a guide to using hostage negotiation techniques in business and personal negotiations.
Modern negotiation strategies taught in business school usually center on classic texts that describe negotiation without factoring in emotions or irrational behavior. In reality, all negotiations involve emotional factors and illogical reactions. And in hostage scenarios, “splitting the difference” by accepting the release of half the hostages in exchange of partial fulfillment of demands is never a desired outcome.
Hostage takers who feel heard are more likely to trust negotiators to be honest about what they want. Active listening involves mirroring the other person's speech, speaking in a way that sounds assertive but calming, and not saying anything at all for several seconds between utterances. This slows the conversation down and conveys the impression that the negotiator wishes to understand…
