Neil

When we identify our worth with our work (“I am what I do”) we naturally are reluctant to face challenges and take risks without self-protective defenses. If you believe that a judgment of your work is a judgment of yourself, then perfectionism, self-criticism, and procrastination are necessary forms of protection.

You feel like a victim whose life is controlled by others who make the rules. And you affirm your refusal to accept the rules by speaking about the unpleasant task in the victim’s mantra—“I have to.” “I have to pay the parking ticket. I have to have the presentation ready by Friday. But if I were in charge I wouldn’t do it. If I were God there would be no parking tickets.”
As a powerless victim you feel you can’t openly rebel, because that would mean risking the probable consequences (anger and punishment), as well as losing the side benefits of the victim role (self-righteousness and martyrdom).

If you maintain extremely high standards for your performance and are critical of your mistakes, you will need to defend yourself from risky projects where the chances of failure are high. Perfectionism and self-criticism are, in fact, the chief causes of fear of failure.