bookmate game
en

John Gray

  • De Riaalıntı yaptı2 yıl önce
    It is very difficult for a man to differentiate between empathy and sympathy. He hates to be pitied.
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    A man pulls away to fulfill his need for independence or autonomy. When he has fully stretched away, then instantly he will come springing back.
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    when a man has stretched away his full distance, he will return with a lot of power and spring. Once he pulls away to his limit, he begins to go through a transformation. His whole attitude begins to shift. This man who did not seem to care about or be interested in his partner (while he was pulling away) suddenly cannot live without her. He is now feeling again his need for intimacy.
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    As her trust in this process grew, it became easier for her not to panic. When he pulled away she did not run after him or even think something was wrong. She accepted this part of Jeff. The more she just accepted him at those times the sooner he would return. As Jeff began to understand his changing feelings and needs, he became more confident in his love. He was able to make a commitment. The secret of Maggie and Jeff’s success was that they understood and accepted that men are like rubber bands.
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    This rubber band analogy explains how a man may care very much about his partner but suddenly pull away. When he pulls away it is not because he does not want to talk. Instead, he needs some time alone; time to be with himself when he is not responsible for anyone else. It is a time for him to take care of himself. When he returns then he is available to talk.
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    Some men, however, may describe this pulling away differently. To them it is just a feeling of “I need some space” or “I need to be alone.” Regardless of how it is described, when a man pulls away, he is fulfilling a valid need to take care of himself for a while.
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    Some men, however, may describe this pulling away differently.
  • De Riaalıntı yaptı2 yıl önce
    1.A woman will unconsciously sense when a man is pulling away and precisely at those times she will attempt to reestablish their intimate connection and say “Let’s talk.” As he continues to pull away, she mistakenly concludes that he doesn’t want to talk or that he doesn’t care for her.

    2. When a woman opens up and shares deeper and more intimate feelings it may actually trigger a man’s need to pull away. A man can only handle so much intimacy before his alarm bells go off, saying it is time to find balance by pulling away. At the most intimate moments a man may suddenly automatically switch to feeling his need for autonomy and pull away.
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    When a woman wants to talk or feels the need to get close, she should do the talking and not expect a man to initiate the conversation. To initiate a conversation she needs to be the first to begin sharing, even if her partner has little to say. As she appreciates him for listening, gradually he will have more to say.
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    A man who needs to pull away a lot before he can learn to share and open up will first need to listen a lot. He needs to be appreciated for listening, then gradually he will say more.
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