Rich Karlgaard

Late bloomers are those who find their supreme destiny on their own schedule, in their own way.

compare your inside to other people’s outside.

The immense power of normative social influence stems from precisely our need to be accepted. We human beings, after all, are social beings with a strong need to belong to a group, to be accepted, and to have strong social bonds. This means we tend to act like and think like the people in our families, our communities, and our broader society.

This is what makes normative social influence so powerful—and possibly at war with our attempts to bloom later in life. It’s invisible. It’s a force we don’t see, can’t feel, and don’t even want to believe in. Yet it influences nearly all our behavior, choices, and opinions.

Normative thinking creates the belief that the right pathway is the one followed by the person we see as a normal member of our social group.

To feel comfortable, you have to understand the right cues or signals, know the proper people, and share the same convictions. If you don’t, the message is, You’re not one of us. You don’t fit in.

We compare ourselves to our parents—Where were they at forty? At fifty?—to our friends and siblings. We compare our kids to our friends’ kids. When we miss milestones, we worry, Are we slow? Are our children behind in their development? Am I a failure? We fear that deviation from the norm might indicate a serious problem.

behavioral economics and psychology show us, the real waste is not in sacrificing our past by quitting a failing endeavor. It is in sacrificing our future by not pursuing something better.

people who are truly successful in leaving a job or making a major pivot are those who make the decision quickly and act immediately.

Instead of telling a late bloomer, “This isn’t brain surgery,” try saying, “This is a challenge, but you can figure it out.” Or instead of telling yourself, “I feel terribly overwhelmed right now,” try, “Alex, you have the capability to do this, and here’s how.”