Vanessa Van Edwards

Fake doesn’t just happen when you’re trying to be something you’re not. If you don’t like someone, they will feel it. If you are unhappy at an event, people will sense it. Pushing through, faking it, trying to make it work—simply doesn’t work.

You can get along with anyone, but you don’t have to get along with everyone.

A strong idea cannot stand alone. It needs to be accompanied by strong cues.

The palm up cue is a signal of openness and trust. It’s a high warmth cue, best used when trying to get people to be more collaborative and open.

The palm down cue is a signal of power and dominance. It is a high competence cue.

The palm down cue is best used when giving directives, commands, or instructions in situations that don’t call for questions or feedback.

The more space someone takes up, the more confident they look and feel.

A head tilt is a universal sign of engagement. We literally tilt our head to the side when trying to hear someone better, giving one of our ears a better chance to hear what is being said.

blocking cue: he has his arm in front of his torso.

This is an interesting distancing cue. When we try to get away from something or someone, we need to physically distance ourselves, sometimes literally pulling back.