More Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops

(A customer is reading a book about the nativity)

CUSTOMER (to her friend): Don’t you ever get the feeling that Baby Jesus is somehow related to Herod? I always freak out, thinking that he’s going to go: ‘JESUS. I AM YOUR FATHER!’

LITTLE BOY: Hello. You still have no customers. If I owned this shop I’d fire you.

BOOKSELLER: Wow. Brutal.

WOMAN (holding a copy of a Weight Watchers book in one hand, and The Hunger Games in the other): Which of these dieting books would you recommend most?

MAN (looking at a giant map in the bookstore): When did they move New Zealand way down by Australia? Wasn’t it in Europe before?

BOOKSELLER: …

YOUNG GIRL (pointing to a cupboard under one of the bookshelves): Can you get to Narnia through there?

BOOKSELLER: Unfortunately, I don’t think you can.

YOUNG GIRL: Oh. Our wardrobe at home doesn’t work for getting to Narnia, either.

BOOKSELLER: No?

YOUNG GIRL: No. Dad says it’s because Mum bought it at IKEA.

CUSTOMER: I’m bored. Can you recommend something for me?

BOOKSELLER: Sure, what kind of books do you like to read?

CUSTOMER: I don’t want to read a book! Didn’t you hear what I said? I’m BORED. I need something INTERESTING to do!

CUSTOMER: I had such a crush on Captain Hook when I was younger. Do you think this means I have unresolved issues?

CUSTOMER (holding up an art book): Wow. Picasso must have gone out with some really ugly women.

WOMAN (holding a copy of a Weight Watchers book in one hand, and The Hunger Games in the other): Which of these dieting books would you recommend most?

CUSTOMER: Do you have a book on how to found countries? I want to know if it’s possible to claim my back garden as a separate nation.