A snob is simply someone without an independent centre of judgement, who can only value what the ‘in’ group in society happens to esteem at any point in time.
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‘There are lots of kinds of intelligence. Mine is fine.’
Morose
‘I have to fix you.’
‘I’ll do my best, but I’m not ultimately responsible for your
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Raising voice
‘It’s all my fault...’
‘This is their issue: I don’t have to feel bad.’
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Patronising
‘I’m stupid.’
‘There are lots of kinds of intelligence. Mine is fine.’
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Distracted, preoccupied
Attention seeking: ‘Notice me.’
‘You’re busy. I’m busy, that’s OK
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The answer is not to conclude the relationship, but rather to strive to deal with the compelling challenges with some of the wisdom of which we were not capable when we first encountered these in a parent or caregiver
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We may describe someone as ‘not sexy’ or ‘boring’ when in truth we mean: unlikely to make me suffer in the way I need to suffer in order to feel that love is real
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e may be constrained to look away from prospective candidates because they don’t satisfy our yearning for the pain we associate with love.
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Some very real constraints around whom we can love and feel properly attracted to come from childhood