I killed Myself for a better me

I don’t want to have traitors within me. The best way to do it is to kill the current me and work to acquire the new me whom I dreamed of.

Situation has reached to the edge of patience.

This battle will last for a long time. But from morning wake up call to night sleep in call, I should be the one who should control the mind. Not the mind controlling me any more.

my mind knows my weakness and my strength, I should also know my minds weakness and strength,

I want to win this battle then I have to be better than current me

noticed, fear of “what others think”, fear of dying, fear of living, fear of dreaming, fear of coming second, fear of losing the race, fear of failing in exams, fear of god, fear of human and even fear of own reflection and shadow.

He always forced me live my life in fear, Fear of talking in public, fear of losing job, fear of being bullied, fear on living on passion, fear of losing comfort zone, fear of being rejected, fear of being neglected, fear of being omitted, fear of getting low appraisals, fear of not getting bonus, fear of getting negative feedbacks, fear of trying new thing, fear of wearing different dresses, fear of falling, fear of speaking English, fear of speaking my opinion, fear of sharing ideas, fear of living life with my terms and conditions, fear of being noticed, fear of being not

My enemy knows me better than me. He knows my weakness, he knows my strength (which still now I don’t know much), he knows the terrain of the war, he lives with me, understands everything about me, he can attack like a beast or can frighten me like a monster. He will make me feel like hell, he will play with my emotions. He will do anything to win the battle against me, he can take me to the edge of depression and still if he is not satisfied he can push me to commit suicide.

Fight till I beat the biggest beast in me and to give a clear message to myself and my mind. It’s my way or the high way.

He always moves straight but when seeing an enemy in the diagonal square he changes his move. After the move again travel straight. That should be my strategy. Go straight till my enemy comes near me. Wait for it and then plan the attack.