Wicked – The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West

“Well he was a very nice sorcerer, or madman, or whatever.”

Do you even believe in other worlds?”

“I find it a great effort to believe in this one,” said Sarima, “yet it seems to be here, so why should I trust my skepticism about other worlds?

He had a long fringy white-and-gray beard, and a very kind and abstracted manner, and he smelled of garlic and sour cream.”

“Indisputable proof of other-worldliness—”

“Besides, think of it. If your husband were murdered, wouldn’t it be easier to bear if you thought he deserved it, even just a little?”

“No,” Elphie said, “I don’t think it would.”

“Neither do we,” admitted Two, “but we think that’s what she thinks.”

The children went back into the kitchen and made gingerbread people, and crows, and monkeys, and dogs, but they couldn’t do bees, they were too small.

But I warn you, I intend to befriend you so thoroughly that you will change your mind.

“It seems to me that you have come here to—shall we say—relieve yourself of some sad business or other. You have the look about you. Don’t be startled, my dear, if there’s a look I do recognize, it’s the look of someone carrying a burden. Remember, I listen to my sisters, year in and year out, as they graciously share with me all the ways they hate me, and why.”

Oh, when I was selected to be a child bride, a good governess was hired from Gillikin to teach me and my sisters how to use verbs and pronouns and salad forks.

“Manek made him pull down his trousers so we could make sure his thing wasn’t green.”

Sarima disapproved—on the grounds of hospitality if nothing else—but was compelled to ask, “And what did you see?”

“Oh well you know.” Nor turned her head into her mother’s neck, and then sneezed from the powder with which Sarima kept her chins from chafing. “Stupid-looking boy’s thing. Smaller than Manek and Irji. But not green. I was so bored I didn’t look much.”

“Neither would I. That was very rude.”

“Just because you’re the youngest, Six, and can still locate your waist, there’s no need to be unkind.”