Self-Knowledge

Any suggestion they make, or ambition they have about how you could change, builds on a background of acceptance

The judge is in charge of what we call our self-esteem

The drawbacks of lying to ourselves

Honourable self-love is not selfishness: it’s the feeling of correctly respecting ourselves

There is almost always a high price to pay for our reluctance to look within. Feelings and desires that have not been examined tend not to leave us alone; they linger and spread their energy randomly to neighbouring issues. Ambition that doesn’t know itself comes out as anxiety. Envy comes out as bitterness; anger turns into rage; sadness evolves into depression. Disavowed material buckles and strains the system. We develop pernicious tics; a facial twitch, impotence, an incapacity to work, alcoholism, a porn compulsion. Most so-called ‘addictions’ are at heart symptoms of insistent difficult feelings that we haven’t found a way to address. Insomnia is revenge for thoughts we have refused to have in the day

Insomnia is revenge for thoughts we have refused to have in the day

We need not blame ourselves for our poor grasp of our own minds. The problem is inherent in the very architecture of the brain, an organ that evolved over millennia for the sake of rapid, instinctive decision-making – not the patient, introspective sifting of ideas and emotions

Can we make the first move around a kiss or sex?

How ready are we to learn, given that valuable lessons usually come in painful guises?

Honourable self-love is not selfishness: it’s the feeling of correctly respecting ourselves