To Sir, with Love

“Now, tell me who’s got you smiling at your phone all the time.”
“I do not smile at my phone.”
She takes a long sip and stares me down, and because I’ve never been able to weather that particular look, I relent.
“Okay,” I take a drink. “There’s sort of a guy. Who I haven’t met. And could be a pervert.”

Hers are the sort of eyes described as “startling,” whereas my high school boyfriend once described my eyes as “bluish?” I think the question mark at the end had been the most insulting part.

My dear Lady,

I’ll gladly return the hundred bucks, but I’m not giving back the prize: you.

Yours in victory,

Sir

“But I’ll be honest, I thought it would be a little vain to have a painting of myself hanging in our home.”

I let out a stunned laugh. “Our home? Getting a little ahead of yourself, aren’t you there, Sir?”

“My dear Lady, you stole my heart twice. If you think I’m letting another second of my life pass without you in it, I’ll have to kiss you again to set you straight.”

My sister, Lily, is one of those beautiful people. As a kid, I’d been unaware of it. As a teen, I’d been a little jealous. As an adult, I’ve learned there are more important things than outer beauty.

Maybe if we were, he’d be married to me instead of dating that other woman, and we’d have aqua-eyed babies…

Okay, fine. So maybe I’m a tiny bit in love with a man I haven’t met.

Okay, fine. So maybe I’m a tiny bit in love with a man I haven’t met.

I put on my headphones, turn on Queen, and lose myself in “Bohemian Rhapsody.”

There’s something irritatingly irresistible about someone who won’t give you the time of day…