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Ruth Ozeki

A Tale for the Time Being

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    INSTRUCTIONS FOR ZAZEN
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    but memories are time beings, too, like cherry blossoms or ginkgo leaves; for a while they are beautiful, and then they fade and die.
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    or making people feel okay about themselves just by being there.
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    I don’t know any prayers, so I just make them go round and round and say blessings in my head for all the things and people I love, and when I run out of things I love, I move on to the things I don’t hate too much, and sometimes I even discover that I can love the things I think I hate.
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    When no one was looking, I slipped some Melty Kisses into her hand, too.
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    I’ve gone and wasted all these beautiful pages and failed to achieve my goal, which was to write about Jiko and her fascinating life while I still had time, before she died. And now it’s too late. Talk about temps perdu. I’m sorry my dear old Jiko. I love you, but I screwed up.
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    Haruki #1 was struggling with the most profound moral and existential issues of genocide and war and the consequences of his imminent death, and we’re upset about a missing cat? How is this even possible?
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    I don’t want to die, Maman! I don’t want to die!

    I don’t want to die.
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    The cruelest punishments now fail to bring even a tear to my eye, but the thought of the hardship you’ve suffered on behalf of your ideals makes me weep like a baby.
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    I do not regret my lie, however. I would do anything to spare you more grief.
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